Do you remember going ‘round to your Gran’s, and setting up the clothes horse, draping it with a sheet and then gathering up as may items to stock your ‘shop’? Every market stall in Bolivia looks just like that memory. There’s….
Plaster trowels and make-up compactsCement mixers and manicure sets
Gas masks and Ear plugs
Lug buds and Candle wax
Candy canes and Walking sticks
Broom flowers and Trilby hats
Felt pens and Crust cutters
Chicken scissors and Butcher’s knives
Table sets and Condiments
Glazed cupolas and Brass bells
Ceramic camels and Votive candles
Wise Kings and Christ cribs
Xmas lights and Garlic bulbs
Flashing light sabres and cribbed ‘Hobbit’ discs
Saint’s Days calendars and Vegetable draining colanders
Runcible spoons and Waving cats
Spangles and spectacles
Sunglasses and Parasols
Poncho y Machismo
Crystal nails and Galvanised pails
Pac-a-macs and Bristol’s Almanac
Pious tracts and Street preachers
Faux Leathermen and Rawhide soles
Pink thongs and Angel wings
Toy drums and Pan lids
Mixing bowls and Toilet rolls
Boxed ‘Panatone’ y ‘pay for’ Telephone
Tarjeta y Recarga aqui
Boob tubes and Chain lubes
Inner tubes and Rubic cubes
Puzzle books and ‘Halo Kitty’ journals
Bic pens and Key fobs
Road cones and Coat hangers
Head halters and ‘Donkey for Sale’
Screwdrivers and Taxi hire
Flash drives and Toy cars
Model colectivos and Tooting conductors
Electric leads and square pin adaptors
Clockwork cars and Binoculars
Rum glasses and whisky decanters
Toffee apples and Toasting forksKnife grinders and Soap powders
Cement mixers and Manicure sets
Pencil cases and Toothpastes
Scouring pads and Muscle balm
Marlboro cigarettes and Rubber dinosaurs
Jelly moulds and Dartboards
Felted bowlers and Baseball bats
Nail clippers and Gin traps
Boot laces and Pie cases
Glossy counterpanes and Tin window frames
Frog mouthed spades y Freddi del Sapos
Mattocks and Padlocks
Hassocks and Puddocks
Knitting wool and Crotchet brocade
Spinning spindles and Spun candy
Toothpicks and Cycle gears
Prized bowlers and Power batteries
Howitzer ordinance and New Year mortars
Brittle brollies and Andean dollies
Sindy (sic) Dolly and Kaleidoscopic balls
Dance gowns and Carnival masks
Charcoal braziers and Cleavage Brassieres
Flock cushions and Raw sheepskins
Perfumes, Scents, Fragrances Unguents, Pungents and Bottled pongs
Boot polish and crema de Lettuce leaf
Lotions, Potions, and Solutions, Emulsions
Creams, waxes and greases
Corpulent chess pieces
Plastic ordinance and Nuevo años squibs
Yellow pants and Promised prosperity
Lucky pleated wheat and Photocopied plata
Flip-flops y Book swaps
Agua por affluence y gringos por arrogance
Water pumps and Corkscrews
Cast cows and Pottery donkeys
Nativity stables and extension cables
Mobile ’phones y ‘tarjetas aqui’
Inka kolas and Cuddly koalas
Soda pop and Stuffed toys
Fairground riding and styro White swans
Wedding bouquets and Funería coffins
Confetti and gladioli
Inflated Bart Simpsons and blow-up Super Heroes
Foam padding and Gauze wadding
Backpacks and Polyprop sacs
Knock-off Nik (sic) and spurious Adidas
sham Lacosta and forged….Europa
bogus ‘Boss’ and Copy-cat tat
Metal forks and Plastic crocs
Mental sums and Glue gums
Sticky backed plastic and tele’ antenas
San Pedro y azul
‘Califera perfecta’ and Typed forms
Manuel click-clacks on a Manual
Imprenta y Fotocopia
y Fotografia
Kodak printed film and Aymara costumed bears
Desiccated llamas and Zebra’d pyjamas
A garlanded Alpaca and a photograph opportunity
Forests of pine’d plastic and Bristles of toilet brushes
Besoms and Switches
Mujer hosiery and ‘Lady finger’ bananas
Dried sow-thistle and Singing bird whistle
Almond nut kernels and Padded dog kennels
Small coinage and Engorged notes
Panpipes and Pantiles
Rhone pipes and road wash Rivers
Diarios and a Gutter press
Printed blankets and Acrylic jumpers
Jack leads and Rosary beads
Religious tracts and Auto blessings
Ferrari stickers and Madonna transfers
Barca shirts and Cholita skirts
Weird fruits y Quality tastes
Street food and e-coliform
Sevilla oranges y Barber’s shears
Aymara masks and Hip flasks
Water butts and Rubber stamps
Trike by Triang and Knickers by Nike
Grubbers by Little Tyke and Diggers by the day
Blue Visqueen sheet and Milky ripe wheat
Squeezed almond oils and Burning mozzi coils
Plastic peace doves and Leather boxing gloves
Rebar y rebar y rebar
le Bizarre y la Bazaar
En total y Hecho en China
‘sorry’…you want a condom?’…‘no, we don’t sell tower blocks’
Almost everything is here, everything is for sale in my Gran’s Bolivian Bazaar. Trouble is, she wants me to put it all back…….in it’s right place…..NOW.
